What If You Don’t Need More Self-Discipline?

Weekly Collective Tarot Reading
Page of Pentacles · Strength · The Devil

Maybe changing an old pattern doesn’t begin with trying harder. Maybe it begins with understanding why you keep going back to it.

This week’s cards made me think about something I’ve definitely done myself. Deciding that this time I’ll do things differently, starting again, making a new plan and trying to be more disciplined. And then somehow finding myself back in an old pattern.

It’s easy to look at that and think you simply need to try harder. But these three cards made me wonder: what if you don’t need more self-discipline? What if you need to understand why you keep going back?

The Page of Pentacles and Starting Something New

I like the Page of Pentacles because there’s no expectation of having everything figured out yet. There’s curiosity here. Something new you want to learn, build or try. Maybe you’re changing a habit, starting something you’ve wanted to do for a long time or simply realizing that you want something different for yourself.

But starting something new doesn’t automatically make the old disappear. I think we sometimes forget that. We make one decision and expect ourselves to suddenly become the person who follows it perfectly.

Maybe change is rarely that clean.

Strength Isn’t Always About Trying Harder

Strength in the middle of this reading is interesting to me because the obvious interpretation could be to stay strong, stay disciplined and keep going. But I don’t really see it that way here.

Maybe strength is also being able to look at the part of yourself that keeps going back without immediately judging it. One part of you can genuinely want something new while another still wants what feels familiar. Those two things can exist at the same time.

Instead of trying to silence that second part, maybe there’s something worth understanding there.

What is it actually trying to protect?

Sometimes we’re so focused on changing our behaviour that we never stop to ask why that behaviour was there in the first place.

And Then There’s The Devil

The Devil brings us straight into old patterns, attachments and the things that can be surprisingly difficult to leave behind, even when we know better.

And that’s the part I find interesting. Why do we keep returning to something we’ve already decided we don’t want?

Maybe because it still gives us something. Comfort, familiarity, control, connection or a way to avoid something else we don’t want to face right now. That doesn’t mean the pattern is good for us, but understanding what we get from it might tell us much more than simply calling ourselves undisciplined.

There’s a big difference between knowing that you want to stop doing something and understanding why you keep doing it.

Going Back Doesn’t Mean You’re Back at the Beginning

I think we can be very black and white about change. We succeeded or failed. We moved forward or went backwards. We changed or we didn’t.

But returning to an old pattern doesn’t necessarily erase everything that happened in between. Maybe you notice it faster now. Maybe you understand why you’re doing it. Maybe you make a different choice sooner than you used to.

That matters too.

Sometimes progress isn’t the old pattern disappearing completely. Sometimes it’s simply that the pattern no longer happens without you noticing.

And maybe noticing is more important than we give it credit for.

Maybe the Question Isn’t “How Do I Stop?”

The Page of Pentacles wants to build something new. Strength reminds me that we don’t have to build it by fighting ourselves. And The Devil asks us to look honestly at what still keeps pulling us back.

So maybe this week isn’t about trying harder. Maybe it’s about becoming more curious.

Instead of asking “Why did I do this again?” with frustration, what if you asked it because you actually wanted to know the answer? What did you need in that moment? What did the old pattern give you? And is there another way you could give yourself what you were actually looking for?

That might tell you much more than another promise to start over on Monday. ✨

A Reflection for This Week

If there’s something you’ve been trying to change lately, maybe ask yourself:

What if I don’t need more discipline, but a better understanding of why I keep returning to this?

And maybe one more:

What does this old pattern give me, even though I know it’s no longer how I want to continue?

Maybe changing an old pattern doesn’t always begin with fighting it. Sometimes it begins with finally understanding why it became a pattern in the first place.

Want to Find Your Way Back to Yourself? 🤍

If you’ve been trying to understand yourself, your patterns or what you actually want, I created a free guide called 10 Gentle Ways to Find Yourself Again.

It’s a collection of simple reflections and small things you can try when you want to bring some of your attention back to yourself.

Get the free guide here<3