When You Just Don’t Have It in You Today

When I started this blog, I decided on a rhythm for myself. Every Monday, I publish a new blog post along with a collective tarot reading that tells its own story.

And I’ve actually really enjoyed that rhythm.

Until now, the topics have come quite naturally. Usually there’s something on my mind that I want to explore, and once I find the right subject, the words start coming almost on their own.

Today, that didn’t happen.

The past week has felt heavier than usual. I’ve been really tired, and I haven’t had the same energy for much of anything. I’ve been sleeping, but almost every night my dreams have been incredibly vivid. Sometimes it feels like my body is asleep while my mind continues living an entire other life all night, and I wake up feeling just as tired.

That could very well be one reason my energy has been so low this week. Dreams are actually something I want to write a whole separate post about one day, because my dream world is honestly a story of its own. 😄

But this morning, I already felt heavy.

And then I had a blog post to write.

I Really Did Try

I sat down and started thinking about what I wanted to write.

One idea. No. Another one. Nope. A third one sounded good for a moment, but when I tried to actually write about it, nothing came.

Normally, I love this part. I can start with one thought and somehow end up somewhere completely different because one question leads to another. Today, everything felt forced. And still, I kept trying.

I thought the inspiration would come if I just stayed with it a little longer. Surely I could find something to write about. Surely we could get something out of this.

We couldn’t. Instead, I noticed that the heavy, anxious feeling I already had was only getting heavier. Eventually, I had to close everything and go outside.

I did something completely different for a while and left the blog alone. And here I am now. The inspiration didn’t magically return, by the way.

So I decided to write about that instead

Should, Should, Should

I’ve noticed that I have a pretty strong habit of filling my head with things I should be doing.

I should write the blog. I should make the Pinterest posts. I should do something for my business. I should finish this. I should use the day well. I should get something done.

And even when nobody else is asking those things from me, I’m perfectly capable of asking them from myself.

I also used to be someone who planned everything far into the future. I liked knowing what was going to happen, when it was going to happen and preferably what was happening after that too. 😄

These days, I’m consciously trying to unlearn some of that.

I still need some rhythm and routines in my life. This Monday blog rhythm is one of them. But outside of that, I’m trying to live a little more go with the flow.

That doesn’t mean I never make plans anymore. I’m just trying to leave more room around them for life to surprise me and for things to change along the way.

Because I’ve noticed that the more detailed the picture in my head becomes of how something should happen, when it should happen and what it should look like, the easier it is to feel disappointed when life decides to go in a completely different direction.

Maybe the plan itself isn’t the problem.

The problem begins when there isn’t enough room in the plan for life.

Not Every Day Is a 120% Day

This is something I forget surprisingly easily.

Some days I feel like I’m running at 120%.

I have more ideas than I have time to do anything with. I get things done, everything flows, and I sometimes have to remind myself that maybe it’s time to stop.

And then there are days like this.

Maybe 20%.

Still, I easily make the mistake of expecting exactly the same things from my 20% days as I do from my 120% days. When I put it like that, it makes very little sense.

We’re not exactly the same every day. Our energy, focus and capacity change. Sleep, stress, what’s happening around us and simply being human can all affect how much we have to give on a particular day.

And maybe we don’t always need to immediately fight our way back to 120%. Sometimes we can accept that today the meter says twenty.

This is what I have today.

Tomorrow might be different.

Inspiration Is Hard to Force

One of the clearest reminders I got this morning was that the harder I tried to force inspiration, the further away it seemed to move.

I could have picked one of the topics I was considering and forced myself to write some supposedly deep post about it.

I probably would have finished something.

Blog done. Box checked.

But it wouldn’t have felt like me. And that’s exactly what I never want this blog to become. I don’t want to write something just because the calendar says Monday.

I had actually planned to tell you about the Grounded Reset today too, something I finished last week. But I didn’t have it in me to start writing about that either.

It’s already on my website, though, so if you’re curious, you can take a look HERE. 😄 I’ll tell you more about it when it actually feels like the right time.

And maybe that fits today’s theme pretty perfectly too. I thought I was going to do one thing. Today just wasn’t the day for it.

Not everything has to happen exactly when we once decided it would.

Sometimes You Need to Do It Anyway. But Not Always.

I don’t think every moment of I don’t feel like it means we should abandon everything and lie on the sofa.

Sometimes I don’t feel like starting something, and once I actually begin, I’m completely into it ten minutes later. Sometimes I need that little push to stop waiting for the perfect mood and simply start.

But I think there’s a difference.

There’s a difference between not wanting to begin and trying again and again only to realise you’re squeezing something out of yourself that just isn’t there right now.

Today, stopping for a while helped me much more.

Going outside. Changing my surroundings. Doing something completely unrelated.

For someone else, that might be a walk, exercise, meditation, a nap, music or getting a coffee somewhere. Anything that interrupts that feeling of I have to get this done right now.

Sometimes motivation or inspiration comes back afterwards.

And sometimes it doesn’t.

That’s okay too.

I’m Still Learning How to Do Nothing

This might actually be a harder skill for me than doing things. Because I can easily start thinking that rest comes after I’ve earned it. When I finish this, then I can rest. When these things are done, then I can do nothing. When I’ve had a productive enough day, then I can spend the evening doing absolutely nothing and feel good about it.

But who actually decided what “enough” is?

I’m trying to unlearn the idea that every day needs to produce something. Sometimes there can be a day when nothing gets created. Sometimes you can be tired. Sometimes you can change your own plans. And sometimes you can genuinely do absolutely nothing without turning that into a recovery exercise, another self-development project or a strategy for being more productive tomorrow.

Rest doesn’t always need a purpose.

Maybe that’s the thing I need to remember most right now.

And Somehow, This Became a Blog Post Anyway

This post was supposed to be about something completely different.

This morning I tried to find a topic, find inspiration and write the blog post I had decided I was going to write today. The harder I tried, the less I seemed to have.

So I stopped.

I went outside for a while, left the whole thing alone and accepted that maybe there simply wouldn’t be a blog post today.

And somehow...

Here it is. 😄

Not about the subject I had planned. Not in the way I had planned. And not because I somehow managed to force my motivation back. I gave myself a little time and a little more room, and eventually something completely different came out. And actually, I’m pretty happy with it.

Maybe that was the reminder I needed today too. Stepping away from the plan for a moment doesn’t always mean giving up. Sometimes that little bit of space is exactly what you need to move again.

A Little Thought for You

If there’s something in your head today that keeps repeating should, should, should, maybe stop for a moment and ask yourself:

Does this genuinely need to happen right now, or am I asking more of myself today than I actually have to give?

You don’t have to force everything.

You don’t have to squeeze inspiration out of yourself, and every day doesn’t need to look the same.

Some days you can do a lot. Some days a little. And sometimes it can be a perfectly good day to do absolutely nothing.

That doesn’t erase everything you’ve already done. And one 20% day doesn’t mean tomorrow will be one too.

Be a little kinder to yourself on the days when you’re not at your best.

Give yourself a little more room sometimes. You might be surprised by what happens when you stop asking so much of yourself for a moment. ✨

❤️ Sofia /GS555

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A Small Note

This post shares my personal experiences and reflections on motivation, rest and listening to yourself. It is intended for personal reflection and inspiration and should not be considered medical, psychological or other professional advice.